Gender/Identity

I don't know if I'm trans. 
There. That's the current truth, as I understand it. 
 
For most of 2009, I lived believing (more or less) that I was female. For most of 2010, I lived believing that I was male. Neither felt completely right or wrong. 
I think, somewhere around the start of 2010, I decided I didn't think I was trans anymore, but that I shouldn't jump to conclusions. For the whole rest of that year, gender wasn't really on my mind, and I didn't really feel like a woman. But most of the time, when I did think about gender, I didn't really feel like a man either. I don't know what I am. 
 
For the past three years, I've been trying to break down barriers in my head and trying to figure myself out. My current project is, basically, the summation of that (but actually, this is the first time I've really thought of it like that). 
I never really thought about gender to begin with, but when I did it seemed like I might not be cisgendered. I still don't know for sure either way. 
 
Most of the project is about not being able to express myself, and not really being allowed an identity, not just at school but also at home. It's mostly all about my need for identity, and being rejected on all fronts. But it's also about eventually finding some kind of identity, and keeping it secret so that I won't be rejected again. 
So what I'm currently writing and recording is basically my life story so far, wherein I get consistently rejected by most people, and hide my identity in order to avoid a worse life. 
 
It's definitely possible that I just relate to transpeople in that way (even though there's not nearly as much of a risk if I "come out", about what I'm sure of, in my case). It's definitely possible that I'm a cisgendered man who has just experienced the need to hide his identity. But that still doesn't feel completely true. 
 
So I don't know. Maybe I'm a man, maybe I'm a woman, maybe I'm neither, or somewhere inbetween. 
Maybe I'll find out one day.